Wednesday, 11 November 2009
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
If I were Jack Dawson from the film Titanic, there would be a series of noticeable differences....
1. I would have lived, either I would have formed some GENIUS plan to get us both rescued, or that ginger girl can get her own board.
2. I would have been upper class, even if I wasn't. Would have stolen that fat American woman's son's dinner jacket not just 'borrowed' it, from then I would simply wonder around the first class decks, talking about my shares in Asquith's government and the pending war.
3. It's lovely and everything, but kissing on the front of the ship...Bit of a health hazard, sorry.
4. My drawings would all be stick men/women.
5. I'm not very good at poker, would probably never have won those tickets in the first place, film would have taken a more bizarre course involving me sitting in a pub in Southampton, crying.
6. I would have stolen that diamond.
7. I would have forced Rose to apologise to that man for sticking her middle finger up at him, running away is bad enough, but that was just unnecessary.
8. I would have just stolen a lot of stuff in general.
9. I doubt Rose really would have been that impressed by my stick drawings, my inability to spit, my bizarre knowledge about wars yet to happen and my disturbing personality links with her fiance.
10. Wouldn't have been able to tap dance.
11. Would have had the caviar.
12. Probably would have found some way to film everything.
13. My 'Don't jump,' talk probably wouldn't have been that effective, she would have jumped and unlike Jack...I'm not going in after her, he's pointed out it would be cold, how about the very real chance of the propellers sucking her under and proceeding to grind her up into very tiny, little, ginger pieces?
14. I would have so kicked off when Cal started shooting at me, it's pretty certain we're going to die anyway, give us a break.
15. Similar to the above, would have yelled a lot at that guy's failure to pass keys to me.
16. Good chance I would have respected the fact that that particular car was someone elses property.
Yeah, I was ill today, watched a film (guess which one!). I find it sad for all the wrong reasons, why oh why could I not have been born in Edwardian society?
Also, I received a disturbing email today: It's me David, get this I HAVE THE INTERNET NOW! DAVID IS ONLINE GOD HELP THE WORLD! The enemy appears to be mobilising, I have contingency protocols in place for this, everything will be fine.
WHAT WAS HAPPENING EXACTLY A YEAR AGO IN MY LIFE, THESE QUOTES SHOULD INFORM YOU:
'Last day of half term today.'
'Might have to employ S's services as a bodyguard to combat the evil work of Angry Girl.'
'Tried watching Top Gear on iplayer earlier, nope it just wasnt having any of it, how annoying.'
Tom,
P.S: I would have made my own lifeboat out of a wardrobe.
2. I would have been upper class, even if I wasn't. Would have stolen that fat American woman's son's dinner jacket not just 'borrowed' it, from then I would simply wonder around the first class decks, talking about my shares in Asquith's government and the pending war.
3. It's lovely and everything, but kissing on the front of the ship...Bit of a health hazard, sorry.
4. My drawings would all be stick men/women.
5. I'm not very good at poker, would probably never have won those tickets in the first place, film would have taken a more bizarre course involving me sitting in a pub in Southampton, crying.
6. I would have stolen that diamond.
7. I would have forced Rose to apologise to that man for sticking her middle finger up at him, running away is bad enough, but that was just unnecessary.
8. I would have just stolen a lot of stuff in general.
9. I doubt Rose really would have been that impressed by my stick drawings, my inability to spit, my bizarre knowledge about wars yet to happen and my disturbing personality links with her fiance.
10. Wouldn't have been able to tap dance.
11. Would have had the caviar.
12. Probably would have found some way to film everything.
13. My 'Don't jump,' talk probably wouldn't have been that effective, she would have jumped and unlike Jack...I'm not going in after her, he's pointed out it would be cold, how about the very real chance of the propellers sucking her under and proceeding to grind her up into very tiny, little, ginger pieces?
14. I would have so kicked off when Cal started shooting at me, it's pretty certain we're going to die anyway, give us a break.
15. Similar to the above, would have yelled a lot at that guy's failure to pass keys to me.
16. Good chance I would have respected the fact that that particular car was someone elses property.
Yeah, I was ill today, watched a film (guess which one!). I find it sad for all the wrong reasons, why oh why could I not have been born in Edwardian society?
Also, I received a disturbing email today: It's me David, get this I HAVE THE INTERNET NOW! DAVID IS ONLINE GOD HELP THE WORLD! The enemy appears to be mobilising, I have contingency protocols in place for this, everything will be fine.
WHAT WAS HAPPENING EXACTLY A YEAR AGO IN MY LIFE, THESE QUOTES SHOULD INFORM YOU:
'Last day of half term today.'
'Might have to employ S's services as a bodyguard to combat the evil work of Angry Girl.'
'Tried watching Top Gear on iplayer earlier, nope it just wasnt having any of it, how annoying.'
Tom,
P.S: I would have made my own lifeboat out of a wardrobe.
Monday, 2 November 2009
A written post?!?!?!?!
Yeah, I've gone a bit mental, back to using proper, good, reliable words rather than meaningless and undeniably insane videos. I should be writing some notes on 'Oh what a lovely war' for Drama, then revise some William Pitt (the younger) notes for timed essay tomorrow, thankfully I think Pitt's awesome, so the latter doesn't particularly bother me. Studying 'Oh, what a lovely war!' For Drama, FINALLY THE DRAMA DEPARTMENT HAVE LISTENED TO ME! After many, many years of complaining, a play about war we have to study, I've been helping Miss Monk with all the World War 1 historical background malarkey, for once, Drama isn't so bad... Though I expect that will all change tomorrow, going to see some ridiculous play with a bunch of people I'm either unfriendly with or don't know, ah, but this is what iPods are made for. No, that's a false statement, iPods probably weren't made for awkward social situations, I just bought one to combat that problem.
Using Realtek HD Audio Manager I've made James Blunt sound like a man, doing the world a favour once again.
Earlier was pretty distressing, I was talking to my English teacher about what I wanted to do for coursework, our conversation reached a point like this...
'You're very good at using sarcasm in your work, you need to mention this in your commentaries though,'
'Yes, true,'
'So what is sarcasm, Tom?'
And for that brief, horrifying moment in time, I had literally no idea.
'Errr...It's....urr...when you exaggerate something?'
'No, not really,'
'Sorry, I'm told I use sarcasm all the time, I...I don't know what it is.'
This bothered me a lot, so I had a very good think and wrote the following for my English teacher:
Sarcasm - A guide.
Sarcasm is the delivery of a point or message, which when delivered in the correct tone, bears an underlying message. For example, something false, but in a tone which is obvious to the reader or listener, and thus informing them on the real point.
'Tom, you're going to Munich again,'
'Yes, because that makes a change.'
The tone makes clear the statement is not to be taken in a literal sense, if poorly performed, the sarcasm can be lost.
My English teacher was pleased anyway.
At first I was a bit sceptical, this probably isn't Robert Webb, Sam Bain or Jesse Armstrong, but Ollie was like: 'I BET IT IS!' And Bryony backed him up with something similar, therefore, it must be, HOW AWESOME IS THAT????? - Rhetorical, I already know the answer, VERY awesome.
I bought a poppy earlier, then at lunch found it had escaped my jumper, pretty distressing little moment there. Thankfully though, from Bes's advice I 'retraced my steps' and for once it actually worked! Good old Bes.
'Tom, this is bollocks! What the hell was happening exactly a year ago in your life?' I hear you cry like a distressed backbencher, well, cry no more, for due to my blog's one year anniversary, I can now tell you.
SOME INFORMATIVE QUOTES FROM MY SUNDAY 3RD NOVEMBER POST 2008:
'Ok firstly England lost.'
'I will walk from my home in the Cotswolds to the middle of Ireland.'
'Should I stop talking to my computer...yes definitely.'
'Love life, has that changed at all?...Ha ha as if.'
Wow...I've just gone full circle, how depressing.
Tom,
P.S: A year ago I had been inspired by the Corrs, still am, how very reassuring.
P.S.S: http://omegle.com/ - Such fun.
Using Realtek HD Audio Manager I've made James Blunt sound like a man, doing the world a favour once again.
Earlier was pretty distressing, I was talking to my English teacher about what I wanted to do for coursework, our conversation reached a point like this...
'You're very good at using sarcasm in your work, you need to mention this in your commentaries though,'
'Yes, true,'
'So what is sarcasm, Tom?'
And for that brief, horrifying moment in time, I had literally no idea.
'Errr...It's....urr...when you exaggerate something?'
'No, not really,'
'Sorry, I'm told I use sarcasm all the time, I...I don't know what it is.'
This bothered me a lot, so I had a very good think and wrote the following for my English teacher:
Sarcasm - A guide.
Sarcasm is the delivery of a point or message, which when delivered in the correct tone, bears an underlying message. For example, something false, but in a tone which is obvious to the reader or listener, and thus informing them on the real point.
'Tom, you're going to Munich again,'
'Yes, because that makes a change.'
The tone makes clear the statement is not to be taken in a literal sense, if poorly performed, the sarcasm can be lost.
My English teacher was pleased anyway.
At first I was a bit sceptical, this probably isn't Robert Webb, Sam Bain or Jesse Armstrong, but Ollie was like: 'I BET IT IS!' And Bryony backed him up with something similar, therefore, it must be, HOW AWESOME IS THAT????? - Rhetorical, I already know the answer, VERY awesome.
I bought a poppy earlier, then at lunch found it had escaped my jumper, pretty distressing little moment there. Thankfully though, from Bes's advice I 'retraced my steps' and for once it actually worked! Good old Bes.
'Tom, this is bollocks! What the hell was happening exactly a year ago in your life?' I hear you cry like a distressed backbencher, well, cry no more, for due to my blog's one year anniversary, I can now tell you.
SOME INFORMATIVE QUOTES FROM MY SUNDAY 3RD NOVEMBER POST 2008:
'Ok firstly England lost.'
'I will walk from my home in the Cotswolds to the middle of Ireland.'
'Should I stop talking to my computer...yes definitely.'
'Love life, has that changed at all?...Ha ha as if.'
Wow...I've just gone full circle, how depressing.
Tom,
P.S: A year ago I had been inspired by the Corrs, still am, how very reassuring.
P.S.S: http://omegle.com/ - Such fun.
Sunday, 1 November 2009
Well, I found this funny.
Tom,
P.S: I said there would be a special post, what did you seriously expect? I'M VERY BUSY.
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
The British Revolution.
Tom,
P.S: In two days time a year of my life will have been recorded on the Internet, one hell of a special post coming up...
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Saturday 17th October
PART ONE:
AND TWO:
Tom,
P.S: This amount of weapons isn't typical of a normal Saturday, honest.
AND TWO:
Tom,
P.S: This amount of weapons isn't typical of a normal Saturday, honest.
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Coming soon...
Tom,
P.S: This isn't a confirmed production by the way, if half of it is me by a computer, then I won't upload it...I'll deliberately do SOMETHING exciting though, light a fire, jeer at the church, climb a tree etc...
P.S.S: Yeah, I said my next post would be a written one...Gosh! Did I lie?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
