Quotes of 2009.

Quotes of the year. Here they are...

‘Break rank! Break rank!’ – Used whenever something vaguely dramatic happens, unsure who first initiated the command.

Tom Williams: ‘Thank you Riddle Man! You have saved the village!’

David Thomas: ‘There are men with guns in here…’

Tom Williams: ‘Gentlemen…Close the doors.’ – Followed by David Thomas and Seb Davies both simultaneously and in perfect synchronisation closing the double doors.

Louis Le Breuilly: ‘The Death Star!’

Tom Williams: ‘It’s time, I’m initiating Operation Barbarossa.’
David Thomas (with genuine concern): ‘Oh…SHIT!’

Seb Davies: ‘You still like her, don’t you?’
Tom Williams: ‘No,’
Seb Davies: ‘Oh, ok,’
Tom Williams: ‘You’re still a cock, aren’t you?’

Bryony Smith: ‘Look Tom! I’ve found Dee!’ – holding a Swiss roll.

David Thomas: ‘Gravity accelerator 5!’
Tom Williams: ‘No David, that’s a weight.’

Tom Williams: ‘It’s always five to nine!’

Jess Smith: ‘Yes, you did David!’
David Thomas: ‘I didn’t throw it!’
Jess Smith: ‘Then, what’s that I can feel in my bra?’
Tom Williams: ‘Err…Your breast?’

Tom Williams: ‘I don’t like this,’
Seb Davies: ‘Don’t like what?’
Tom Williams: ‘This room…! There’s too many happy people, too many young people, too many young and happy people.’
Seb Davies: ‘Oh yes, silly me to pick a room boasting happiness.’
Tom Williams: ‘Silly you.’

Kirstie Smith: ‘Hey Tom,’
Tom Williams (after pausing iPod): ‘Ah...No…No, no, you can wait until the song ends.’

Louis Le Breuilly: ‘In...Squishy, squishy…Out!’

David Thomas: ‘Tom! Wait!’
Tom Williams: ‘You know you’re the most disappointing stalker I’ve ever had?’

Louis Le Breuilly: ‘Parsnip…?’

Tom Williams: ‘What have you got from the shop, Bryony?’
Bryony Smith: ‘Fake teeth, fake blood and…A FLAPJACK!’

Seb Davies: ‘Who you talking about?’
David Thomas: ‘Keira Knightley or Taylor Swift?’
Seb Davies: ‘Oh tough call..’
Tom Williams: ‘I said Taylor,’
Seb Davies: ‘I dunno…’
David Thomas: ‘In fairness I’d do both,’
Moments pause.
Tom Williams: ‘Oh my God! We’ve known each other for, how long…? And this is the first time we’ve ever had such a manly debate, ‘Oh I’d love to do her’, ‘Oh I’d give her one’, fucking hell guys, what have we become?
David Thomas: ‘Yeah, it is a bit weird…’
Tom Williams: ’Lets just pretend the past five minutes never happened.’

Chloe Guy: ‘You’re just taking those Tic-Tacs to be more like House,’
Tom Williams: ‘Shut up…! The others haven’t figured out yet.’

Seb Davies: ‘We’re going,’
Maddie Pegrum: ‘Why?’
Seb Davies: ‘Tom wants to talk to some girls over there,’
Tom Williams (to Maddie): ‘No, I don’t, I just want my Prit Stick back,’
Tom Williams (in a hushed voice to Seb): ‘Must you always make me look like some sex fiend?’
Seb Davies: ‘What? You want to talk to them?’
Tom Williams: ‘To get my glue!’

David Thomas: ‘I NEED TO CHECK YOUR EYES!’

Ollie Beaney (trying to pick what to buy): ‘You coming here has just made me realise how awful I am at making decisions.’

Chloe Guy (holding out arms for a hug)
Tom Williams: Awww…Sweet, you’re trying to fly again.
Chloe Guy: You’re a…Really horrible person!

Ollie Gummary: ‘We can go in the Common Room?’
Tom Williams: ‘Ah…I dunno, it makes me feel agitated’
Ollie Gummary: ‘Why?’
Tom Williams: ‘It’s full of common people.’

Tom Williams: ‘Fuck the what?’
Max South, Matt Smith, other football related people: Hysterical laughter.
Tom Williams: ‘My God…I’m bonding with the idiots,’
Max South, Matt Smith, other football related people: More laughter.

Tom Williams: ‘What are you doing, Campbell?’
Campbell Williams: ‘Doing life.’

Tom Williams: ‘I’m hunting sheep!’
Bryony Smith: ‘Oh Jesus…’

Tom Williams: ‘I don’t actually believe that’s the time…The numbers look too small.’

Alex Kennedy: ‘Just imagine if the interviewer asks…Tell us something interesting about yourself,’
Tom Williams: ‘Ah yes, I’ve got that covered…Until two weeks ago, I was, in fact, a tabby cat.’

Tom Williams: ‘Well, David did once have this tiny little ginger girlfriend,’
Moments pause
Jess Smith: ‘Now, are you sure that wasn’t a blow up?’

Whilst browsing in a shop
Very masculine, Scottish accent: ‘You alright, David?’
David throws terrified look to Tom,
Tom Williams: ‘Break rank! Break rank!’

Whilst trying to pass through border control into Ollie’s newly born nation.
Ollie Beaney: ‘And your forename is?’
Tom Williams: ‘Williams,’
Ollie Beaney: ‘And you’re sure that’s your forename?’
Tom Williams ‘…OH FUCK!’

On corridor duty
Tom Williams: ‘She’s…quite attractive,’
Seb Davies laughs
Tom Williams: ‘What’s funny?’
Seb Davies: ‘I was just debating if I should mention it,’
From this, we then decided to try something pretty revolutionary; we would be manly and ‘rate’ year 10-11 girls.
Tom Williams: ‘Woah!’
Seb Davies: ‘Woaaah!’
Tom Williams: ‘I think we have an 8!’
Seb Davies: ‘Hell yes!’
High fives.
Tom Williams (To number 8): ‘Hi!’
Seb Davies (To number 8): ‘Hi!’
Number 8 walks out
Seb Davies: 'I don’t think she heard us,'
Tom Williams: ‘No, Seb, she ignored us.’

Hannah Apperley: ‘And he’s just been sending me…like all these weird texts, for ages now, so in the end I just told him to… FUCK OFF!’

Seb Davies: ‘Oh, Tom! There are now only three people I trust in the world, you, Georgia and…This dog who visits me at weekends.’

Tom Williams: ‘Rejoice! David’s lost his voice!’

Upon opening a packet, Tom accidently spills some wine gums over the pavement.
Tom Williams: ‘Oh…SHIT!’
Seb Davies: ‘Fuck!’
Tom Williams: ‘What do we do? What do we do?’
Seb Davies: ‘Kick them!’
Seb and Tom kick the wine gums into a hedgerow.
Tom Williams: ‘Now what?’
Seb Davies: ‘RUN!’
The two of them sprint away.

On corridor duty:
Tom Williams: ‘Yes?’
Year 7 child: ‘Science teacher,’
Tom Williams: ‘Well, I’m not one of them,’
Tom closes the door.

Seb Davies: ‘Tom, what the hell?’
Tom Williams: ‘The common rooms been locked…I’m observing how the common people are reacting to their common room being taken away,’
Seb Davies: ‘Why’s it been locked?’
Tom Williams: ‘Because of a ‘mess.’ Seriously, by 10, these guys are going to use Mr Morgan as a battering ram, chanting: ‘You’re the mess! You’re the mess!’ they’re rather agitated as it is.’

David Thomas: ‘Tom, I need to talk to you about something,’
Tom Williams: Yeah, sure, ok…Actually, hold on…’
Tom gazes up at the sky briefly
Tom Williams: ‘Oh no, wait, sorry, I don’t care!’

Whilst filming his day
Tom Williams: ‘James! You’re part of my day!’
James Ager: ‘I’m part of my…! I’m part of my day? I’m part of your day as well!’

Tom Williams: ‘Chinooks at fucking 3am! What is this?’

Tom Williams: 'You could ask Simon for change,'
David Thomas: 'No, because I don't just want a button with '10p' scribbled over it.'



MSN CONVERSATIONS:

Ollie Beaney: I’M GOING TO FUCK THE SYSTEM SO HARD!
Tom Williams: Don't fuck it too hard, we don't want to rape the system.

Tom Williams: I’m trying to work out how a laptop can ejaculate, ok?
Tom Williams: It’s difficult.
April Wood: Tom.
April Wood: Allen is a guinea pig.

Ollie Beaney: Medic won’t come…Medics never come.


Commentary to Doctor Who:
Ollie Beaney: Asian girl getting bumfucked.
Tom Williams: That is exactly what is happening.
Tom Williams: Anal rape on Mars.
Tom Williams: None of us saw that coming.
Ollie Beaney: Shit.
Ollie Beaney: Horror movie plot right there.
Ollie Beaney: Anal rapists from mars.


Tom Williams says: HAVE YOU GOT THE COLLOOOUUUURSSS?????
Seb Davies says: WHHHHHYY YEEEEESSSS!!!!
Tom Williams says: Good.

Ollie Beaney: In psych today, my teacher said that Freud built up relations with his subjects by sleeping with a lot of them,
Ollie Beaney: Take a guess at what I’m going to ask for now,
Tom Williams: Haha, go on
Ollie Beaney : Freud porn
Ollie Beaney : I want Freud porn
Tom Williams: I want Darwin Porn, imagine how fucked up that would be!?!
Ollie Beaney : Very
Ollie Beaney : Would he be fucking monkeys under the excuse "they'll be humans one day.'

Tom Williams: TOMORROW
Ollie Beaney: ‘What about it?
Tom Williams: Free house from 7 to 11
Ollie Beaney: At night?
Tom Williams: From 7am to 11pm,
Ollie Beaney: 1. Invite girls over.
Ollie Beaney: 2. ???
Ollie Beaney: 3. PROFIT!

Ollie Beaney: Although, I am considering putting a spanner in my hat.
Tom Williams: What about a pasty?
Ollie Beaney: That’d just make you look like a hobo, who’s perhaps in some strange Pasty cult,
Tom Williams: Ah yeah, can’t associate with them these days after that court hearing.
Ollie Beaney: Yeah, especially after the whole human sacrifice thing… Still, must have been a delicious pasty.
Tom Williams: Bloody was.

Tom Williams: I’LL GIVE YOU A RING-A-DING-LING.
Seb Davies: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Tom Williams: Strap on is ‘No parts’ backwards.
Ollie Beaney: INTERNATIONAL CONSPIRACY
Tom Williams: EXACTLY MY THINKING!
Tom Williams: Wait…This is relevant to the strap on revelation?
Ollie Beaney: Yes.
Tom Williams: Nobody will ever ask you that again, guaranteed.

Jess Smith: It’s ok, was just worried that your crazy neighbour or gremlins had got you,
Tom Williams: I have evidence to suggest that they’re the same thing.

Ollie BeaneY: LOOKED AT IT?
Tom Williams: How do I unlook?...This is just like the time you sent me that Nazi porn.
Tom Williams: See, the funny thing is, you actually did send me that.

Tom Williams: WHAT WOULD YOU CALL THAT MAN?
Tom Williams: Don’t say ‘a cock.’
Ollie Beaney: A cock
Ollie Beaney: (Yes, I said that because you told me not to).
Tom Williams: Yeah, and I guess reverse psychology is just going to go straight through you?
Tom Williams: Don’t say ‘cock.’
Ollie Beaney: Cock.

Ollie Beaney: That’s the rest of the conversation.
Tom Williams: I…I…I don’t believe I just read that. YOU! You had a wonderful chance! TO CREATE THOUGHT!
Tom Williams: TO PLANT LITTLE SEEDS OF THOUGHT! YOU FUCKING ATE THEM
Tom Williams: WHY ARE YOU EATING YOUR SEEDS?
Ollie Beaney: I’m picking them out of my teeth. I can replant them.
Tom Williams: Good luck trying to FUCKING REPLANT.
Ollie Beaney: I CAN GET A TROWEL!

Ollie Beaney: But if the e-Nazis take over IE, then there will be nothing left to protect Firefox or opera.
Ollie Beaney: They have already conquered Google chrome!
Tom Williams: IE will have to be a sacrifice,
Ollie Beaney: It must be done
Tom Williams: It will buy us time
Tom Williams: Firefox must not fall
Ollie Beaney: It will wipe us off the map, but save the others

Tom Williams: WHY ARE WE TALKING IN CAPS LOCK?
Seb Davies: BECAUSE I'M FUCKNIG NAGRY
Tom Williams: YEAH, I’M NAGRY TOO
Seb Davies: *ANGRY

Tom Williams: A good day then...?
Ollie Beaney: FUCKING ANARCHY.
Tom Williams: Can you stop saying that?


Tom.
P.S: 2010 quotes will start being collected January 1st 2010.