THE END.

P.S. It really is.

LAST.

I guess I was always going to be disappointed. Even those who had never seen an episode of Lost seemed to throw about, all too ignorantly, the question of how such a show could end. The writers have always harked on about how it's a show about the characters, I quote (not exactly - can't be bothered to find the page) from my Lost experience book, 'If you want to find out what the island is, what the smoke monster is, why Walt has those crazy powers, then fine, hang about for a while, but really this is and always was a show about the characters.' The mythology, the background they did though create, I found to be far more interesting than any of the characters, plus the rate at which Lost kills off characters is ridiculous, like an RAF pilot during the Battle of Britain, I considered it to be a waste of time to get attached to anyone. And were the characters that deep and interesting, anyway? Ben Linus, I guess, he's up there with the likes of Greg House, Malcolm Tucker and Sam Seaborn as awesome television characters, but really the original bunch never appealed to me... Hurley existed as the voice of the audience, and that became far too obvious as the show wore on, Jack was a horribly stereotypical macho American-twat, and I've never been keen on Matthew Fox's acting, Kate, well the least said about her the better, Sawyer...Sawyer was good, he was the wittiest character and one of the more believable, but hardly deep.

Ultimately though, I wanted a science explanation, I wanted science to win the theme running since the first episode, Science Vs Faith...Faith won, faith won massively. The characters finally found redemption...But I couldn't help but wonder if that was what the show was all about, them building up to redemption. It dawned on me that I wouldn't have even cared if MIB (Flocke, Smokey, whatever you want to call him) got off the island and tore shit up, yet I'm fairly confident they couldn't do that because of Lost's rather limited graphics budget...Or perhaps that's what Cloverfield is all about? Cloverfield is another JJ Abrams project after all....

Why is the BBC news site down? I want my fucking news. Had to go to the doctors earlier, I think it was National Bring Your Baby To A GP Day. God, I hate them, and they're so ugly, and always being bloody sick everywhere... All this with the ridiculous Mum-banter,
'Because you know there are these sort of...you know..errr..heart shaped things which you can put on, avoid the whole flat head thing,'
'Ohhh riiighttt...'

JUST WHAT?

History exam today - ran out of time, as usual.
English exam tomorrow - will run out of time, as usual.
If they don't give me EMA, they should at least give me extra time.

Probably need a job.

Tom,
P.S: Getting pissed off with those Lost fans who claim they're somehow in tune with the writers, 'Oh I thought it was beautiful, forget the unanswered questions, the characters finally found what they were looking for! LOL LOL :D.' - Yeah, fuck you.
P.S.S: Someone needs to electrify Land of Hope and Glory.
P.S.S.S: Couldn't help myself and read the ending to House season 6...Massive let down, I really hope season 7 is the last season, the show has lost its...zing?

Sickened.

Haven't posted since the election...A result which, I'd like to make clear now, I care very deeply about, so much so, I can't be bothered to voice my opinions on such a matter upon the webernet. Ok, I probably could, if I was in the right mindset, I keep on going from (sometimes on an hourly basis) intense caredom to really not giving a shit, asides from cricket I've found something I really care about, so much so that it's like my caring needs to refuel every now and again... I really hope, if I ever end up genuinely caring about another human being, I operate on a similar basis - it'd be dull to be nice to someone consistently. I am however, going to leave you with this image before I move on:

A petition against her appointment can be found here: http://www.gopetition.co.uk/online/36217.html - Sign it or you're a homophobe.

Oxford, St Andrews, Sheffield, Cambridge, Essex, University College London... The top 6 universities for a Politics degree, don't really stand a chance with the first two, too elitist. Sussex, the one I'm rather interested in, just because it's south, I know the area and it seems nice, is 24th, which isn't so bad... And UEA is 16th. I'm getting all these statistics from here by the way, http://extras.timesonline.co.uk/tol_gug/gooduniversityguide.php, you may want to look up any subjects you're interested in. I'm now virtually 100% committed to Politics or Political Science, I dithered with taking Modern History, but decided I'd be more interested in a politics course, and the civil service seem geared to encouraging people to taking that.

Whilst everybody else seems to be forming pathetic, probably short-lived relationships, I'm reading Hansard. Hansard? Hansard are the company which provides transcripts of every Commons sitting since 1803, I'm actually reading this stuff, not revising, reading about early 19th century legislation...One bit did make me chuckle though, I quote from the 25th August 1841:

Mr. Hastie spoke at some length, but was completely inaudible.
- Debate again adjourned.

Urg...How people in 'love' sicken me. How Lost's desperate attempt to answer stuff sickens me... Magic light? I expected better, ABC, I expected better.
General studies on Monday, is it weird to have found that exam quite fun last time? I got to circle letters and then rant about bins - awesome.

I recently had a lecture (from a dick-cock) about how I appear cold and hostile to people...Well, good. GOOD. This post is starting to fall apart, news? Any news? LET ME LIST NEWS.

1. I might be going to London with Ollie soon, or maybe Chernobyl (not massive about that one), hope I get to snoop about Whitehall.
2. I talk to my cat more, definitely doesn't make me mental.
3. The VMF is starting to fall apart.
4. The Thick of It boxset arrived - Happy.

Tom,

P.S: Oh, and little revision completed. Symbolic Graphology - symbols (obviously), Iconic Graphology - images and shit...*runs over to check he's right*....Yeah, I'll do fine.

Don't ConDem us, Nick.

MY ELECTION NIGHT VIDEO IN ALL ITS GLORY:

Tom,

P.S: Two nights without any proper sleep - so very tired.
P.S.S: All hail Dimbebly! 16+ hours of live TV for a 71 year old.

Time to change the change.

It appears I have not written in this for a while (in this? On this? For this?), which is odd, I fear I may have neglected it by means of a poor memory towards thing which don't actually matter that much.

This week I have undergone a massive shift of priorities, not through a conscious choice, perhaps a few influences may share some blame, but more I have undergone a spontaneous change in direction. Not that I have changed, I am still the same Tom, just with slightly different priorities. Like watching The West Wing instead of House MD.

It has also been a fairly busy week - I've done volunteering. I've actually done some volunteering, I worked and wasn't paid. Firstly, how I am completely fine about that is a bit strange...And it wasn't exactly helping people through a crisis (though I think a court order prevents me from doing that), or looking after dying OAPs or say digging a well in a deprived area of Glasgow-south. No, I was delivering leaflets to various residential hubs in Cirencester on behalf of the Liberal Democrat campaign team. Monday, I attended a Lib Dem conference, met our candidate etc... And yesterday I had a coffee with the campaign manager for this area, discussed various issues, politics etc, etc... IT'S FUN. It actually makes me feel happy, I get a genuine kick out of political activism, even putting up a poster made me giggle a bit.
With vague happiness comes intense hatred though...Especially for the feckless, ignorant, stuck up Tory-twat supporters. The mindless idiots who are instantly sold on the whole FOX HUNTING BACK policy without actually knowing diddly-squat about anything else in their manifesto, or those who jump on the 'My parents vote Tory, thus I shall' fuckwagon. I don't know how many Conservative supporters have actually studied fiscal policy, I've done a fair amount of reading into it, and a Panorama documentary aired a month or so ago clearly indicated the massive holes in the Tory economic recovery plans. We'd be more safe under fucking Darling for God's sake. Now really is not the time for Eton Dick George Osborne to have five years work experience.
I may be able to meet Nick Clegg in the coming weeks, which is cool...Personally I think he's a bit weak, lesser of the three evils, but still he gets horribly flustered whenever anyone turns against him. That being said, even I cannot deny he did the best in the debate, really pissed me off how Cameron harked on about the need for the UK to increase its nuclear weapons arsenal! LIKE THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. We already have quite a few nukes, we also have NATO, and billions, countless billions could be saved from reducing the size of Trident.
The below makes me smile:

I like the BBC's election site, especially parts of it which read as: 'The Liberal Democrat leader is said by one Sunday newspaper to be "more popular than Churchill'. But really, some of it... 'See how latest polls could translate into seats in parliament with the interactive seat calculator.Or start swinging with the Jeremy Vine swingometer.' Start swinging with the Jeremy Vine swingometer - No thank you.

Had another bizzare dream the other night, same sort of thing as my interrupted sex dream, I'm not going to write about that. Was sitting in a car, behind the wheel, and then instantly started panicking, things like 'What? Why am I driving? I don't know how to drive! Wheel, hold onto this, and there's pedals...And things...And why am I driving?' Started circulating my mind, then I looked to my left and the most physically attractive woman my brain could possible ever hope to conceive formed, which then led to thoughts of 'Who is she? Why is she in my car? I can't drive! Why is she so beautiful?' Anyway, something told me not to ask her what she was doing/who she was/police interrogation style shit, just to let her talk...Which is what I did. And she did talk - talk about the most pointless of things, for what seemed a long time, stuff like why she didn't like Bristol, why oranges are better than apples (no they're not). Then it got cool. My phone rang, I answered it (as you do), and it was my voice...I don't remember exact phrases, just the general jist, went something like:
'Hi Tom,'
'Hi?'
'We don't know her, do we?'
'I've never seen her before, no...'
'I don't know her, you don't,'
'Who are you?'
'You,'
'Yeah...Ok...Do you know where I'm driving to?'
'Nope.'

Something else might have happened, but that's all I remember. My most favourable theory is that I was talking to my sub-conscious, which'd be insanely cool. However, basic research into dreams I did this morning suggests that's pretty much impossible. Ah well, at least it's my birthday tomorrow.

Tom,

P.S: Going to read some more Alastair Campbell Diaries - screens are hurting my eyes.
P.S.S: Words will probably hurt them more.
P.S.S.S: I SHALL DANCE.
P.S.S.S.S: VOLCANIC ASH!!!!!
P.S.S.S.S.S: Some Facebook pages are funny: 'i actually hate you im not even joking, i have pure hatrid towards you'.

Just what the hell IS THIS?

It's a video I spent many painful hours creating. Deepest apologies for the short few seconds of black at the end, I tried asking Movie Fucker to fix it, but it didn't listen. If anybody is desperate to see one of the earlier styles continued...I probably have enough free time to do that. Remember to watch in 480p!


Tom,

P.S: I never asked to be on YouTube. No, you didn't, lodge an official complaint against the video then.
P.S.S: Don't do the above, or I will smite you like Gandalf did the Balrog, or David did to Goliath.
P.S.S.S: Am I the only one who hates the new YouTube layout? They've taken away the five star rating for God's sake! How can anyone not be pissed at this?

Life will never be the same again.

Some of you may have noticed the Google transcribe audio feature on Youtube. I mentioned it a few posts ago, basically on some Youtube videos you'll see a little CC button on the video you're playing, if you click that, select English Transcibre Audio or something similar sounding, a transcript of the video you're playing should magically appear. I presume this is to aid deaf people and those without speakers, now everyone can enjoy YouTube! Well...Not quite, as I discovered when I tried to get a transcript for a highly amusing scene in In The Loop. This was the sorry result:

(That in bold is what Youtube and Google believe to be what is being said)/

Yeah, Tobes - The Times
I don't want to have to read you the riot act here, but I am going to have to read some sections from the riot act - Fidelity the laws had stayed behind and congratulate you think that struck from the right time
Like section one, paragraph one, don't leave your boss twisting in the wind - section one have lost one the need to bolster twisting in the wind
And then burst in late smelling like a pissed seaside donkey - and blow stimulates smelling like case seesawed some cases
Yeah, alright, I was late but it's not like I threw up in there is it? - the priest the sheik on these little marks on his late coming to some kind of salary
No, you're right, I'm being unfair - And that it's not night, I'm going on fat
I should be thanking you for not throwing up - I should be franken from not throwing out
Well done, you're a star, and you didn't wet yourself did you? You're in the right city! - your skull needed what itself to take in Iraq is succeeding wouldn't say anything the the
And you didn't get your dick out, and start plucking it yelling willy banjo! - latest the gene pull cue to stop talking and shouting we need the whole show
No I'm being really unfair, you got so much right, without actually being there for one of the most important moments of my career - Including William Fact, what's right, without actual saying that the beginning of one of the most important moments of North Korea

I think the last one is the best.

Gah! Just finished watching the first of the election debate shows, Ask The Chancellors. Vince was awesome, he got the most applauses and after taking a quick browse through the after-show polls and tweets, is scoring the best from the public, good! He's a thorough economist and actually quite a funny guy, who can forget the infamous 'In a week the Prime Minister has gone from Stalin to Mr. Bean,' quirps? One of the best lines in PMQ's ever. Alastair was surprisingly ok, not overly convincing, but loved his quip to Weasel-twat, 'Nothing like cross-party cooperation George!' The one thing which I have gained after watching that show is a sour, bitter hatred for George Osborne, the Eton educated (much like the majority of the Shadow Cabinet) shallow and pathetic MP that he is...I've very rarely hated a politician to this extent, but the amount of complete tosh that came flying from his ugly face. Vince Cable actually laid down some figures, got to the bloody point, George was all 'Labour sucks, I hate them, they steal my ideas...' And his comment at the end, 'And in no disrespect to the Liberal Democrats, but there are only two parties who will win the up coming election, either Labour or the Tories.' WHAT????!?!?! JUST WHAT??? WHY DOES THAT MAN THINK THERE ARE THREE OF THEM STANDING THERE THEN? *Begins to shake with rage*.

Oh how I long for a job in the civil service, would love to be an official party speech writer, such an insanely cool position. Am very against being an MP, just because I couldn't stand being constantly nice to my moaning constituents, 'My garden wall is falling down! What are you going to do about it?'
'Nothing, fuck off out my office.' No, me being an MP is never going to work, I don't have the patience, dedication to party and country or the drive.

Talking of jobs - I have an interview on Wednesday. All of this pushed through by my Mother, *growls*. Finally ordered earlier the In The Loop DVD, chose the Super-Royal Mail- Really Quick - But not that quick - But quicker than standard - And will cost you a bit more option. Not sure why...Simply because I want it by tomorrow to try and elevate me from a sinking mood? Not that I feel my mood is sinking like the Titanic or even worse the Lusitania, in the sense that it's all 'Oh crap an emotional iceberg/Torpedo, quick try and avoid it....Shit. How long have we got? Couple of hours I guess, can we get everyone out? Nah...Not a chance, so we're fucked? Yeah, badly.' No, my sinking is more, 'Oh I see, I've stepped in some sinking sand...Gradually pulling me down to an oxygen deprived death, this is a bit annoying, and I can't seem to get out...Help?' Some DEEP metaphors here. I also have a really evil plan in the works, the likes of which if it were to be leaked would be the most challenging PR war I can imagine, not that that is an incentive to initiate it.

Feeling crap and hungry...RICE PUDDING SOLVES BOTH THESE ISSUES! Hooray!

The BEST trailer the BBC have ever produced. But why a Thursday now? HIGNFY too bad for a Friday? Well?


I don't care if the below offends any religious loyal disciples of mine (lol at the irony). Open your minds, people!



Tom,

P.S: The Pig of Happiness just takes the piss now.
P.S.S: I say 'The BEST trailer...' Didn't like the bit where they showed Alastair Campbell having a panic attack on air, that's a little insensitive. BORIS IS AWESOME.

200.

I did have this awe inspiring idea for my 200th entry. To write a topical and current post which actually makes sense but made up entirely of sentences from my last 199 posts. I wrote a paragraph like this, but it really didn't make a great deal of sense and failed (being an understatement) at explaining what I had done today. I can't even recall what if I did anything for my 100th post...One moment please...Oh I see, I quote from my 150th post: 'I'm the first to reach 150 posts. I rather forgot about the 100th, but hey, let's make a big deal out of the 150.' Well, in that case, I'll do something out of the ordinary for 250.

Firstly, let me draw your attention to the below, another beautifully crafted video by NCISmelanie, who must, MUST be professional...

It's like the ultimate trailer for the show. Actually made me feel quite emotional after first viewing. I hate emotions. Sorry Darwin, I have to disagree with you on a few areas of the whole Natural Selection thing, you claim (why the hell am I addressing, almost in the fashion of a court of law, a dead guy?) that every feature of every species, every arm, every toe, every habit exists for an evolutionary purpose...I can see this on a few areas, humans need arms to do stuff, climb trees, build things, we need toes for...support, perhaps? Habits, the human habit of clothing, makes sense given our species lack of fur, cats cleaning themselves given their lack of taking a shower and applying shower gel - This I accept and understand. But emotions? What do we need emotions for? Well, maybe a few are useful I guess, fear is probably handy every now and again, observe the following:

Three caveman in their cave debating the origins of democracy, their afternoon art session is rudely interrupted by the snarl of a Saber Tooth Tiger, the first caveman (Robert Peel) is scared and runs away, in consequence he survives. The second caveman (William Hague) decides to fight the Tiger, a good move, and he would have survived if he had done his Nintendo DS Stabby The Tiger's Eye Out Daily Training. The third caveman is not angry at the Tiger, unlike William Hague, and doesn't fear it, unlike Peel, indeed our third caveman (John Prescott) has no emotion. He stands blankly, confused at what the other lot are doing, and invites the Tiger to the art session, the Tiger devours him.

I see how emotion helps there. Fear, anger and love (though the last two could be toned down a notch) seem useful for the human race. Things like revenge, remorse, guilt, empathy, are these really needed? I guess they make things a bit more interesting, that's the only counter-argument I can see being thrown at me. I guess it's a fair one, interesting is cool.

Someone replied to a comment I made on a Youtube video with the word 'Die.' That's rude, at least my comment was constructive. I can't copy and paste it because it received so many thumbs down, something I've never been a fan of, what gives us the right to, in the style of Roman Emperors, judge other people's opinions? That was weird, I looked at a url and started laughing at all the jumbled letters and numbers. I'm finally losing it - awesome.

Going to send an email to Alastair Campbell later, asking about how best to enter the civil service, stuff I can do to aid in the process etc...I started reading his fanbrilliant book, The Blair Years - Extracts from the Alastair Campbell diaries. Found it very difficult to put down, at half two in the morning I accepted the fact that this was fast becoming my favourite book, a bit sad having a work of non-fiction as your favourite book, but I find I hardly read any fiction these days...Instead I prefer to find my escape in TV, things like House, Lost, The Thick of It, in fact non-fictional TV, apart from a few panel shows, I find pretty dull, though I did watch a fairly interesting documentary about the Home Office this morning, there wasn't really anything else on...And I'm not sure why I was awake at 8 o'clock anyway, not that I'm complaining, I did most of my work before midday which was a plus.

ENOUGH NONSENSE.

Tom,
P.S: I have gained a new loyal disciple, 15 now, no idea who you are, thank you anyway. JESUS SUCKS.
P.S.S: Pretending to care gets boring. A fact of life we should all learn to embrace.
P.S.S.S: Added some new blog features. It was about time.
P.S.S.S.S: Don't think my video quite fits the page, grr! I reccomend House fans to follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtA4gcDasR8

Migraine.

What do we know of the heart of a man who is yet living? It is only in death that we are truly ourselves, a prince can crumble in the face of cowardice, whereas a villain can show himself a lifelong true man - Typed that from memory. Those being the words of the great William Shakespeare, who I have to briefly portray, of course they are not actually the words of Shakespeare, they're the words of someone pretending to be Shakespeare, and thus fail. Nobody can imitate Shakespeare, don't even try. Actually, I have to sit there and read Shakespeare for a while, got a bit carried away and forgot about the whole acting thing, Henry VI is a really good play, and Romeo and Juliet has some beautiful lines...
To soar with his light feathers, and so bound,
I cannot bound a pitch above dull woe:
Under love's heavy burden do I sink.

Wow.

I don't even know what England's score is at the moment, I've heard from inconsistent sources that we're winning...? I watched some IPL yesterday, all the matches streamed live on Youtube, which is one hell of an awesome move by the ICC. I remember Andrew Symonds tore apart everything which was hurtled towards him, but fail to recall who actually won the match. Damn. Hope it was the Deccan Chargers.

Going to sleep.

Tom,
P.S: WHY IS THAT PIG SO HAPPY?
P.S.S: Next post is my 200th, how very exciting.
P.S.S.S: I am trying to imagine all the people, John. There's just so damn many.

Clubbed to Death.

The title is inspired from the song I've been listening to for about half an hour, not some agitated threat or personal recollection. I like how the song sounds like a printer at various points. Printer music, pretty sure somebody has already done that...

Yep, the bloody Czechs have. I didn't make it to the end of that video either. I don't like how blogger only advertises specialist blogs on the Blogger Buzz feature, that's supposed to highlight the best of the blogs within the whole blogger spectrum, does it really though? It just seems to be filled with such uninteresting crap like...

A. THE HOUSE IN MARRAKESH - http://thehouseinmarrakesh.blogspot.com/ - A blog about a man in Morrocco, his awful camera and a lot of terracotta pots. 1212 followers though, so I'm obviously missing something.

B. Madame Lamb - http://www.madamelamb.com/ - This actually made me feel sick, some talentless reject reviewing 'art'. 1017 followers.

C. Abby's Blog - http://soloround.blogspot.com/ - A blog which should be renamed to 'Me (Abby) and my sailing boat.'

D. A Hungry Bear Won't Dance - http://www.ahungrybearwontdance.com/ - Unfortunately, this wasn't a blog about Bear torment. It was about cooking, the cooking of really ugly looking meals.
'When I opened the bag of earthy mushrooms I detected a faint cinnamon fragrance, which gave me an idea. I’d make chicken soup with cinnamon.'
That timeless anecdote attracted 14 comments, from 958 followers. Oh, and she looks like a damned psychopath:https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI5lpZG7DDJjg2IFUhfDY6tSDVxw2jEaXZgwirQTk3mgc7kGN_FrlJZBH0BVXtiDF6kMHYpAl-fTF7GsMbhg0GHA37oB4Pzru8bmxkV_KcXdRYjLLS2g4-5fIlDD_X4cFOeunkemvoDKU/s220-h/BanuFlorida2.jpg

Am I the only one who finds blogs about people's personal lives interesting? I had a browse around, simply by following one followers link, then another... etcetera, etcetera, but found you generally get three types of blog (ignoring the irritating ones mentioned earlier), ones like this which deal with a mixture of personal and topical to the person issues, idiotic but amusing ones full of such things as...
'Plain and simple ..she's a bitch . She uses ue when she has no one else . She already has no friends ! Why is tht ?!' http://mstayls.blogspot.com/.
Orrrrr... you get the insecure types, these I find more interesting, per esempio...
'can't believe I'm in love. I honestly never thought I would ever be in actual love with a guy who actually loves me back.' Actual love? Actually loving back? Actually sounds actual. http://limitedcountdown.blogspot.com/.

I've done my bit for Karma by doing a fuck-load of other people's blogs some advertising. That does count to Karma right? Even if I'm criticising some of them, I'm still essentially selling them. Sticking on this World of the Internet theme, I've got so many fucking favourited videos on Youtube, that it takes me an unacceptable amount of time to find one, when my semi-functioning sub-conscience recalls a video to my conscience. The day Youtube creates self naming favouriting categories, I will be marginally content with that site. Arsenal have scored (again), I can hear shrieking. Oh, how I do not belong.

And on Horizon right now, a pretty deep sounding documentary, 'Is everything we know about the universe wrong?' Wow, that's credit for the licence fee right there. Wahey, a media tangent! I can now briefly talk about my NEW third favourite film (sorry Independence Day), In The Loop. Being an avid The Thick of It fan, I was naturally liking this film from before I even started watching it...Genius writing, superb acting, and no other form of media has ever persuaded me more into a career, political spin. Chief Whip, Director of Communications, Press Officer, Senior Press Officer, Press Secretary, Adviser...All I will gladly adopt.

Drama wasn't so bad today. That wasn't even a typo. I was expecting some catastrophe of a day today, no...A catastrofuck. Actuuuaaallllyyyy, I bloody profited! Thomas Williams is now public enemy number 2! After Sam's pretty damn awesome argument with the group (but me who watched oh so amused), near fight with Crazy Dave and walking out, everybody concluded he was the 'Wanker' amongst us and that I, Tom, were in fact 'Trying really hard lately.' All I've done is looked at my script, I seem to be able to muster a photographic memory for the most useless of tasks, all my lines are near enough stored. Still getting messages from the anti-Christ legion on Facebook though,
'I have paint and brushes :D Shall bring it all in tomorrow so bring some painting clothes.' What? We're painting now, fuck the what for? Have we taken up my idea to camouflage Dave into the set?

I was described as 'more angry than usual' yesterday. That wasn't even angry, that was mildly peeved, idiots. Why are the Corrs such an attractive family? Apart from Jim, who looks like some Bono wannabe, pah...Natural selection gone nuts. I'm developing the ability to listen to a song and not instantly start questioning its lyrics, just to enjoy it (THANK YOU BOOTLEG BEATLES), I might even play my 'Sickly Romantic playlist.' No, no, no need to go mental.

Tom,
P.S: WHAT A LONG POST.
P.S.S: Ollie, feel free to call:
Wednesday, from 1-3.
Thursday, 11:30 - 2
Friday, 1-2.
Your dedication to annoying my group IS appreciated.
P.S.S.S: THE HOUSE THEME TUNE JUST WENT RIGHT THROUGH MY BRAIN.

The aftermath of the best day of 2010 thus far.

Tom,
P.S: Bryony actually made the hashed song on the previous post. I implore you to send it to me so I can upload it.
P.S.S: My homework diary harbours too many scribbled messages telling me to work, I refuse to even look.
P.S.S.S: Drama rehearsals after school every day next week, ahhahahahahhahafhsgfsdhfsdhfsdfgsdhugfsd...Laughter which turned into violent stabbing of script.

Here, There and Everywhere.

Fuck. Hate to use a cliché (or any word which requires an accent for that matter), but it seems like only yesterday (when love was such an easy game to play) when I gave thirty sterling to Bes, to which he presumably went and purchased, as well as for himself, a Bootleg Beatles ticket. It's tomorrow, I'm seeing my favourite band live, and don't bother commenting some rubbish about them splitting up in the 70s, I don't buy it. A select body at the UN, who manage Western media, realised in 1970 that The Beatles were so incredible, so outstandingly popular, that to keep the market alive and healthy, they had to be eliminated. Once this argument was proposed to the four of them, all but Ringo who got a bit mad, accepted it, that's the sort of nice guys they are! Then the UN had the nerve to fear a reunion and hire some Christian psycho to murder John Lennon...Christians, always murdering innocent people, *shakes fist*. Anyway, long story short, Paul and Ringo, who somehow had obtained extracts of John and George's DNA, made clones, and started The Bootleg Beatles, almost identical to The Beatles, but very slightly different, enough to fool those UN pricks.

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

I saw a film today
The English Army had just won the war
A crowd of people turned away
but I just had to look
Having read the book
I'd love to turn you on

You didn't run, you didn't lie
You knew I wanted just to hold you
Had you gone, you knew in time, we'd meet again
For I had told you

You want her, you need her
And yet you don't believe her when she says her love is dead
You think she needs you

If I needed someone to love
You're the one that I'd be thinking of
If I needed someone

IT'S SOME CRAZY BEATLES REMIX. If anyone's interested, in order of occurrence, the above song I have crafted in about thirty seconds, Let It Be, A Day In The Life, Got To Get You Into My Life, For No One and If I Needed Someone. I think I am actually going to make this on Audacity now...IF...IF...I could motivate myself to do so. Recently, past few days anyway, I have had an issues with motivation. Yesterday (when love was such an easy game to play) par exemple I ended up going to bed at about 7:30, just because I didn't seem to have the energy to work, write my book, even to watch House. I just wanted to sleep. Stupid brain couldn't even manage that, just decided to torture me by refusing to fade from consciousness. How I sometimes want to be my cat, just for a day, he doesn't have to worry about anything, sleeps around, eats some food, aaannnnddddd back to former. Of course, I'm being very naive, I have no idea quite what Hodge gets up to half the time. I dread to think.

Evidently though, I have enough motivation to write this nonsense across the Internet. Irritatingly, though occasionally I haven't had the energy to feel irritated, I've been accused of being more sour than usual, something I feel is unjust. Why does everyone suddenly have an issue with rudeness? Pah.

MY GOD! Do I love, LOVE, with all my tiny heart, The Thick Of It. Definitely as good as Peep Show, certainly the best political sitcom I've ever come across. Adore it on a more personal level seeing as I really want to go into the Civil Service for a while, as well as writing STUFF in my spare time of course, working in political spin, or press management, being paid to manipulate people...A dream.




Tom,
P.S: How can anyone find those clips not hilarious?
P.S.S: What the fuck is up with Transcribe Audio? That's actually supposed to aid deaf people? Cripes.
P.S.S.S: Every C of E school should have a copy of The God Delusion.
P.S.S.S.S: I'm going on a train tomorrow. A TRAIN. So going to film this.

Birmingham.

Tom,
P.S: Don't change to the updated Blogger editor, it's ridiculous.

Too much excitement can kill.

Firstly, just relax. I know I haven't posted for a very long time. I haven't died, simply haven't had much to write about of late. Now I most certainly do, tried to make myself a bath (and when I say 'make myself a bath', I'm not talking literally, that'd be absurd), and I'm not even talking metaphorically either...Jesus, what am I talking in? English? Pragmatics? God forbid pragmatics. Damn that tangent which forced me to end my sentence. Tried to make myself a bath, noticed after about five minutes there was no hot water, it was as cold as a cold thing but colder (scenes of Siberia are brought to the fold), apparently I have to turn hot water on at the boiler, which was a new and daring experience for me it must be said. I'm now sat in my boxers, having to wait half an hour for the boiler to ask Thames Water to give it the hot stuff, a perfect time for blog writing!

So what has been happening the past couple of weeks? Read more God Delusion, ha! There is blatantly no God. Iain Lee said my name twice and read my email on The Lost Initiative (SCREAMS IN A WORRYINGLY FEMININE FASHION), watched over the Government suggested guidelines on House MD intake, now fearing withdrawal symptoms as I realise I have never been so more up to date with that show. I have become a dangerous alcoholic void of any alcohol (something of a disturbing paradox), and discovered COD Modern Warfare 2....

And it is on that last point concerning what has happened in my life over the course of the last two weeks, that I will write a brief review. I do not like anything popular. There is something irrationally hard-wired into me which forces my largely semi-conscious mind to resist popularity, it took me far too long to be swayed to the 360 (see a post I made sometime before Christmas), I haven't yet seen Avatar and don't want to until everybody has just calmed the hell down about it, seriously, calling it the next Star Wars?! I do not want to have to watch a film which makes me look like Buddy Holly. If this was the 60s/70s I would detest The Beatles to unimaginable extents, now they're my lifelong favourite band, hell I'm not even going to have sex until the human race has just calmed down about that... Really, so much fuss over a pretty ugly mess which has been practised for what seems like an eternity. Reminds me of Christianity (which, coincidently, is another thing I'll embrace when we're all atheists). However, don't get me wrong, anyone who knows me won't claim I'm some sort of law defying lunatic, my resistance or rebellion if you like, is largely against cultural things...And anyway, most people despise the law. Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 is unquestioningly a popular game, it's sold something close to 12 million copies worldwide, and yet I read somewhere that Activision still won't make a profit. Bizzare. What are they spending their money on? Some sort of DJ version of the award winning Guitar Hero series? How ridiculous would that be?
I would also like to make it clear, I don't own this game, I am borrowing it, my commitment to returning it is somewhat vague, but I haven't actually gone and spent my precious sterling on a copy. Enough excuses. I cannot deny it is amazing. The graphics are just stupendous for a FPS game, the annoying Americans chattering away to you constantly are just so annoyingly annoying, I love it. Of course, it has flaws, I'm a bit miffed about the whole 'Friendly fire will not be tolerated' thing they've got going, and the level where you machine gun a Russian airport and all the innocent people just seems a touch pointless. I do though, understand what all the shouting is about, it is a good game, one I am ashamed to admit I am enthralled by.

Now to return to what's been happening the last two weeks and to find a suitable tangent, I discovered my brother is a 'Needs to be institutionalised psychopath', and that despite the fact there is nobody on this Earth I trust to a 100% degree extent, I have discovered many who are attributed to a percent near enough that mark, are largely over ranked, I am now a tiny bit more determined to get a job, am starting to doubt my ability to finish writing a novel without getting horribly distracted by a pigeon midway through a much sought after writing spree, and FINE-ALLY my loyal disciples...I'm as miserable as ever.

Tom,

P.S: Next post I intend to be an interesting-for-only-me post entitled: 'My top 10 favourite House episodes.'
P.S.S: Happy people need to be deported to a sad place.
P.S.S.S: 14 LOYAL DISCIPLES - HA JESUS!
P.S.S.S.S: No tangent was found. TIME TO CLEANSE ONESELF.

I should be much more excited about this...

Well, isn't it nice to see how the characters seem to have progressed? I am excited...Slightly, I really don't get it, look at my posts a year ago, and note how mental about season 5 I appear to be, this is the FINAL EVER SEASON and I wouldn't really be that devastated if I missed it. I fear my House MD obsession has put shame to Lost. Of course I am going to watch it, I've trawled through 5 seasons just to find out what the fuck is that smoke monster, and I will learn the truth...Or I swear to the Island that I will burn ABC headquarters to the ground.
Seriously though, and I know I'm purely going from the trailer, but how many times has Sawyer said in that musky, oh so manly voice of his 'Don't come after me...' Probably to someone like Kate, or Julliet, but I'm pretty sure a nuke got her. How many times has Jack demanded to know 'Why my name is written down on this!!?!' donning that frenzied 'I AM SO GOING TO KICK OFF' expression. How many times has Locke said something simmilar to 'What if I told you I could answer the most important question in your life? Why are you on this island?' Or announced so Moses like that 'I promise I will tell you everything,' then again, Locke's dead, that's Jacob's nemesis in Locke's body...Talking to Richard Alpert...And if Crazy Rich doesn't know the answers, then Hurley help us. How many time has Kate exclaimed in that accusatory tone, 'You think they care about you or any of us?' To which Jin replies (how the fuck did he learn English so quick?) in that timeless rhetoric 'Who do you care about?' And finally how many times has Jack hit important stuff which explodes? That is the temple at 0:26 right? Tell me that's the temple? And how many Sayid 'because you tortured someone, we've got to torture you back bitch!' scenes can the writers produce?

Evidently, a lot still needs to be answered, which is why I am watching this, for answers, I look to be entertained no more.

Tom,

P.S: Isn't Africa huge???
P.S.S: That better not be Jacob at 0:48, Ben knifed him and kicked him in a fire! That was Ben's moment of redemption, his one action of true defiance, don't you dare resurrect yourself Jacob...
P.S.S.S: Poor John Locke still hasn't got that breast problem sorted out.

Difficult times.

Tom.

Love really is BLIND. You're all ignorant.

It's likely that my title has offended you. My least sincere apologies. I have the rather disturbing image of a mob of love fuelled, adolescent Emos surrounding my fortress, chanting such whimsical things like: 'Love is the purest form of emotion!' Or 'Just because you're not in love!' As if that's a counter argument. I like making Google Chrome tabs fight each other for space. See what I did there? Defied all grammatical laws, just went off on a completely unrelated point, no new paragraph, nothing! I'm so rebellious it's insane. Now back to the dominant theme of this first paragraph, can't really call it an introduction, I've just dived (if you'll excuse the much overused metaphor) straight in. Alas, I fear another tangent. Love, yes, I don't get the hype surrounding that word, as if it's some portal to redemption, to enlightenment, to fulfilment...I'm sure for some it is, they're only ignorant though. However, nothing is as naive as the opening lyrics of the song below... It's to clips of The Beatles, I don't really get it either.

'I love love, I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me' - How deluded can you get? What has this 'songwriter' been smoking? 'I don't care what it does to me'? Well, fucking-lucky-you, people have died over this emotion, just like how countless millions die over the so badly ridiculed 'hate'.

Before you all label me as a sour, uncaring, selfish bastard (though, why haven't you already done that? Silly you), I'll explain. People in love are obsessive, to varying degrees of course, the likes of which I could write several posts on, they become wrapped up in the object of their affection (occasionally literally). What, of course, people don't realise is that it isn't a case of:
1. They make me giggle, I love them.
2. They look pretty, I love them.
It's more:
1. They look pretty, make me laugh, and have numerous other nice traits, but ultimately, despite the fact most of us are blind to it, it's just a biological thing hard-wired into us, to mate. To survive. To preserve our species.

We attach words like 'love' to this Darwinian explanation, to make us seem more human, more evolved, that we're experiencing something above what the average animal feels. False. Society simply teaches us these nice adjectives, to flirt with, attach without thought. We see someone good looking, we want to be with them, we see an ugly person, we don't, the beautiful survive.

I do not want to become attached to someone. Firstly, it would destroy my theory explained in the above paragraphs, I would 'fall in love', suddenly Matilda would be all that matters, I would doodle her name over the back of my books, blush awkwardly whenever she smiled at me, I would forget that I need to be with her so THE HUMAN RACE COULD LIVE ON. I would just want to be with her for reasons I don't yet understand, I don't want to understand, and I hope I never will.

Tom - Who should be learning about the Parisians of 1788-94.

P.S: House MD is better than Lost.
P.S.S: I will undoubtedly withdraw the above statement when Lost returns.
P.S.S.S: FEAR THE BLUE TACK MAN.
P.S.S.S.S: Inspired by David Mitchell, I'm fed up reading nasty, hateful comments on videos, blogs, forums, anything, from now on, if you have something spiteful to say, just type this instead: It just goes to show you can't be too careful!

Boredom is a burden, a curse, an excuse to plague the Internet with things like the below.

Tom,
P.S: As a general rule, to anyone who may be unfortunate enough to read this, if you can't cope with numerous conversations on MSN. Block contacts.
P.S.S: Xs are overrated.
P.S.S.S: I downloaded Google Chrome, which is wonderful by the way, even though Google are blatantly taking over the world, Chrome is so shiny and beautiful, it's almost Mac like. I forgot to make it my default browser though, someone sends me a link, it opens in Firefox...Firefox was not best pleased with me, decided to open up a series of blank tabs for no reason, freeze up and yell at me: 'Oops, we've encountered a problem.' Get over it Firefox, I've moved on, why can't you?
P.S.S.S.S: See how many P.Ss I'm using? Written posts are the way forward.
P.S.S.S.S.S: Bored? Play the fun games below.